If you've never been on a disastrous date, then count your blessings because escaping one is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do.
Unfortunately not all dates are success stories, actually majority of them are massive failures leaving you questioning every romance you've ever had in your life.
Especially because of all the online dating, it's easier to line up dates throughout the week, giving each random person shot at impressing you. Sadly, they are leaving you hopeless but giving you great stories to tell your friends.
By all means take the horrid date into your control and either get a good laugh out of it or have a legit excuse ready to go if you're not feeling it within a matter of minutes.
Feelings and attraction aren't always reciprocated, especially on the first date, so don't hesitate to use one of these escapes on your next one.
Get your ass up and simply walk out the door. Obviously, you can go about this way more discrete by going to the bathroom or grabbing something out of your car, but you have the right to stop wasting your time, and theirs, and leave.
You don't really need to explain yourself, especially if they said something unforgivable. Before you dig yourself into a hole about your twice removed Uncle's surgery in Wisconsin that you urgently have to hop on a plane for.
I understand you might feel a little guilty because it's a ballsy move but if there is a chance you won't see them again then make a run for it. And if you do see them again, because that's how the universe likes to fuck around with you, then run faster than you did the first time. .
If you're a pro at faking phone calls, it's best to pretend you're getting one then immediately break out into hysterics, barely explaining why you have to leave as you gather your things. Depending on how believable you are, they will hopefully just let you leave without further explanation, but some may even want to assist you with your emergency.
Make sure it's a good one that requires only your attendance, so you're not tripping over your words. Some require more than a frantic phone call to get the hint that you want to leave.
This is a classic one so if they're smart, the lightbulb will go off letting them know you're not interested and you panicked so you made an entire story up on the spot.
Depending on how good your friends are, you could have a texting code if you need out of date, having them call you making your emergency a little more realistic. But if this person won't let you go easy, faking an emergency to escape might be neccisary.
Just rip the band-aid off and come right out and say it. You would rather be doing absolutely anything else than spend another second on this horrid date. There are better ways to go about this such as “I don't think this is going to workout,” or “I'm not as interested as I expected and believe we should end the date right now.”
Either one will make things awkward but hey, at least you were honest with them and yourself about the situation.
If anything you're saving both of you from the awkward goodbye when they go in for a kiss, and you reject them and ghost their ass. It's almost better to be straight up with someone instead of leading them on, out of the goodness of your heart.
It's actually quite cruel tricking someone into thinking you're having a good time when you're really counting down the seconds until it's over.
If you're one for improv or a good acting skit, then practice your skills on your date to make them run for their life instead. Whether you pretend to see an ex or get worked up over the wrong order, create a scene that will inevitably force the date to end within a matter of minutes.
For this one, you will need to have a lot of courage and confidence because it takes guts to freak out in public and to embarrass yourself for the sake of your night.
Particularly for those who don't give a damn about a psychotic reputation, then go all out and actually test the waters of how much your date is willing to put up with. You never know, you may end up admiring your partner's patience and level of compassion when you break down about your goldfish that died three years ago.
It depends on how creative you want to get with this one and how far you're willing to go. If you're a woman, you can pull the 'period card' and say it's an emergency and you need to leave immediately and overdramatize your condolences and embarrassment about the whole situation.
Or if you're extra sly, casually mention you're not feeling too hot before the date, so you've already put it out there when you decide to go fake throw up in the bathroom.
Especially if you're going to dinner, you can blame it on the food not settling well with you or worst comes to worst instant food poisoning. Now don't jump the gun and complain about your stomach if the only thing you've had is water and complimentary bread.
All in all, escaping a date comes down to great improvisation and acting skills. There's hope for successful dates, but chances are you're going to need to have one of these on the back burner just in case they end up being a complete nightmare. Also, if someone tries pulling this on you, just take it for what it is because you'd rather them get out of there fast before you think it's actually going somewhere.