It is human nature to grow nervous and anxious when introducing ourselves to a person whom we have an interest in. Our hands may become a tad sweaty, our voice a bit shaky and our conversation topics diminishing. If you find yourself striking out far too often, you may want to look at the way you present yourself.
A big problem is exuding desperation in the way you act and the things you talk about. In order to stop appearing desperate and instead appear as an assured and confident individual who's ready to grab the world by the balls and then take it to a nice, steak dinner, follow the five tips bellow and see what happens.
There is a huge difference between being confident and being arrogant, and this difference can determine whether you end up alone or not for the night.
Nerves tend to run high when conversing with an attractive person whom you are trying to sleep with and conversation topics may not flow from you as well as you would hope. Whatever you do, don't turn the conversation into a speech about how great you are for whatever reasons.
Don't begin listing off all the reasons your mommy tells you she loves and you or why your daddy says he's proud; this will merely come off as arrogant and self-centered.
Instead, simply ask the other person questions. For men, girls love to talk about themselves and they love it even more when you ask questions about them. Not only will you seem kind and sincerely interested, but you'll gain definite brownie points for being a "good listener."
Just as you asked questions, they are almost guaranteed to begin doing the same. Don't worry about making sure they know about your latest rewards or accomplishments; they will ask the questions they want answers to to determine if you are a good fit for their needs. Divulging a flood of achievements and super-facts about yourself will only appear as if you are trying to coax them into liking you and trying too hard to impress them.
Having confidence in yourself and your abilities will allow your true qualities to shine through as you converse and nothing is sexier than natural confidence and comfort in your own skin. So in order to stop looking desperate, remain cool, calm and collected at all times and remain patient for your opportunity to share.
Sure, it gets a good laugh from everyone, but what does it say about your confidence and security? Honestly, it says you don't have any.
Joking about oneself is a defense mechanism that everyone has fallen victim to. The idea is that if you make fun of yourself, then no one else can. And usually it works quite well, but it is a huge insecurity flag.
Making jokes about your single status not only makes everyone aware of such, but also portrays your constant dissatisfaction with the situation, and this can be very off-putting to certain people.
Having confidence in oneself as a lone-ranger is essential in exuding a character of poise and self-assurance. One must be comfortable being on their own before they can be totally comfortable being with someone else, and constantly ragging on yourself for being single does not portray this level of comfort.
Joking about your single status makes you appear desperate because it seems like a cry for help; a cry for anyone to come along and make you feel wanted.
So next time you're out, don't acknowledge the loneliness in your life and if someone else does, simply say that you enjoy the freedom to live life how you please and you're discovering new things about yourself every day. Now that sounds like a person I'd want to converse with.
This tip is a no-brainer. We all know someone who does this, we're all guilty of doing it ourselves and we all hate it when we see it unfolding before us. Maybe not all of you, but I certainly do.
Fishing for compliments refers to stating something negative about yourself in hopes of someone else disagreeing with an uplifting and positive compliment. Simply don't do this.
This is a sure way to seem desperate and no one wants to hang around someone whom they have to constantly reassure and encourage. Doing so only portrays yourself as desperate, insecure and insincere.
Now this tip isn't referring to a bad relationship that has been over for months, yet you're still hanging on by a thread; it is referring to not focusing all of your attention and your night on one person.
Maybe you're at the bar or a house party, and you've started talking with someone whom you've instantly clicked with; the conversation is flowing naturally and you are both clearly interested in each other. What to do next? Simply walk away.
Refresh your drink, grab a snack to eat, talk with other friends, no matter the reason, you need to walk away. After a while, you can circle back around and pick up right where you two left off. It is important that you do this so they see that your night does not revolve around them, that going home with them will merely be a bonus on top of an already great night spent with friends.
This exudes confidence and diminishes any trace of desperation by exemplifying that you aren't clinging to them like a lifejacket. It shows that you are comfortable enough to put the conversation on hold and converse with others while knowing that you aren't losing your chance with your person of interest. This technique displays the complete opposite of desperation and works like a charm.
This is when things can become tricky due to not being face-to-face in person. Technology either makes everything easier or everything much, much harder. Did my text go through? Are they at work and can't reply right now? Did I write down their number right?
Due to questions like these that can make you go insane as you sit there and stare at your phone waiting for a response, follow the rule above and you'll have the answer to your questions. If texted someone and they didn't respond, it is okay for your to text them one more time, but that is it. Not texting more than twice in a row is easily one of the unspoken rules of texting.
Many times people are busy when they receive a text and merely forget to reply, or they're at work and don't see their phone till later. No matter the case, it is 2016 and no one leaves their house phoneless without feeling totally naked and uncomfortable so you know they'll eventually see your text.
Some texts don't register a needed response, so people merely read it and then go on about their day, but this doesn't mean that they won't reply the next time. So try texting them again later in the day or the next day, if they don't reply again, then I'd refrain from sending them anymore and wait for them to initiate a conversation.
Bombarding them with texts and calls will only make you seem desperate and easy, which no one enjoys. Or you might earn yourself the label of stalker. Remember, we always want what we can't have; it's human nature.