Every bachelor on the prowl for some tail shares a common fear that has been embedded in our DNA for as long as any man can remember: being deemed "creepy." No one, and I mean no one, wants to be known as "that creepy guy."
Due to girls' intricate web of connections and knack for telling everyone everything and anything, it is nearly impossible to come back from. Whether it's due to a bad joke at an even worse time or an awkward sensual touch, many girls don't change their mind once it's made up regarding their feelings towards a guy; especially when they are feelings of discomfort and awkwardness.
Many times, the behavior that deemed a guy creepy would be seen acceptable if done by a more attractive, confident guy. Many times, those deemed creepy are done so due to their social awkwardness or lack of dating experience.
But just as with most other aspects of life, this is a matter entirely in your control and can be improved with practice. Follow these tips bellow and never worry about being deemed "that creepy guy" and falling into a pit of despair and loneliness for the rest of your life:
When initiating contact with that babe you've been eyeing across the bar or recently matched with online, don't pretend your Ron Burgundy and try out some ridiculous, crude pick-up line on her.
"Great legs. What time do they open?" or "Hey baby, want to have an abortion a month from now?" are perfect examples of things you should never try saying to a girl if you ever want to have any sort of relationship with her. Granted, creepy lines like this could possibly work with some of the wilder girls whom you already share a sexual connection and past with and know they'd appreciate such humor, but they are definite no-go's if you're meeting her for the first time.
Instead, be genuine and real. Most girls like a guy who they can simply talk with and carry a natural conversation, especially when most of the topics are directed at them. Merely introduce yourself, ask their name and see how their day was.
If you're messaging her online, this usually calls for a more creative approach in order to stand out amongst her other 20+, booty-craving matches. Not meeting face-to-face is definitely a setback because so much can be said with the mere facial expressions or the positioning of one's body. No matter the case, make sure you are clever and witty, not creepy.
Most girls love poems, and you'll definitely stand out, just make sure it isn't similar to this one: "Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm using my hand, but I'm thinking of you." Does it rhyme? Check. Does it create a sexual tone within the conversation? Check. Is it extremely creepy and likely to ruin any chance with this girl? Double check.
Time and time again I'll have a friend tell me about some creepy guy who won't leave them alone and then proceed to show me a very one-sided text message conversation which is never in favor of the guy. Don't be that desperate guy!
It's 2016, everyone and their mom (literally) have a cellphone, and almost no one can leave the house without theirs...especially a young millennial whose whole life revolves around her Instagram pictures and Twitter feed. Even if that's not the case, people are beginning to feel more naked without their phone than without their wedding ring.
Meaning that cute girl you keep texting to grab a drink with or make dinner for is simply ignoring you. She's seen your messages-probably within minutes of receiving them-and has made the conscious decision not to reply. We all know how easy it is to forget to reply to a text message, but we also know how easy it is to actually reply when we're genuinely interested in the person.
Texting her time and time again is not going to help, I promise. This will only deem you creepy and may even lead to her blocking your number. Maybe, just maybe, she'll eventually reply, but it may be just to say, "Stop texting me you creep."
Staring contests can be fun, but only if you know the person, and you're actually having a staring contest. Staring at the hottie across the bar is not fun, especially when you don't know her and there is no staring contest taking place; that is just creepy.
If you see a cute girl across the room and merely looking at her turns your heartbeats into music for the butterflies in your stomach to dance to, don't just stare at her with your mouth half open and awe in your eyes. Being stared at by a stranger is undoubtedly creepy, even more so for a young girl in a bar. Use flirty body language before makinga move.
Before you even have the chance to walk over and talk to her, you'll already be known as that "creepy guy who kept staring" at her. And if she can see you staring, so can her friends and others sitting nearby.
Instead, merely glance in her direction every 5-10 minutes or so with a friendly, yet slight smile across your face. Try making eye contact so she notices you noticing her, but don’t hold eye contact to the point where she is weirded out and now afraid to walk home in the dark. If you then begin to notice her glancing in your direction as well, walk over to her and introduce yourself.
Staring at someone is not flattering no matter how attractive they, or you, are.
When speaking with a girl whom you hope to sleep with or have a relationship with or whatever the case, avoid making abrupt sexual advances.
If you merely wish to spend the night with this girl, then creating a sexual tone within the conversation can be important to let her know what it is your after, but don't randomly ask her favorite number and then proceed to tell her yours is 69. You're not in middle school anymore, and you're not funny, you're just creepy at this point.
If there is sexual tension between the two of you, then it is usually pretty obvious due to subtle hints in body language. Acknowledging this sexual connection abruptly can many times dissipate the connection all together and ruin any chance you just had or may ever have with this girl again.
Doing it abruptly and saying something immature will surely come off as creepy and then you may have ruined any chance you may have had with any girl.
If you knowingly come off as creepy and can visibly tell you have now made her uncomfortable and in fear of her safety, take a step back (literally) and apologize affectively.
Admitting your mistake and apologizing for being creepy is sure to make you seem like a nice guy and that maybe you just messed up this one time. Taking a literal step back is important too cause it will show her that you respect her personal space and are not a threat to her safety.
The creepiest part about a creeper is that they usually have no idea how creepy they are. The strange things they say and the odd way they act seems acceptable to them, and they never seem to get the hint. If you admit your creepiness right then and there and then apologize for it, it'll seem like you're just having an off night or maybe your friends dared you to use that pickup line or whatever.
Take a step back, apologize, see how they react and then walk away. If they react favorably and tell you not to worry about it, then maybe circle back around a little later and continue the conversation. If they react in disgust and fear, then don't dig yourself any deeper and refrain from conversing with them again for the rest of the night.
No matter the case, own up to your mistake and apologize, it could make all the difference.