According to Psychology, This Is How to Have a Drama Free Friend with Benefits

Friends with benefits.

Whether you want to admit it or not, we've all secretly wanted to try it, or have at least thought about it. However, not everybody can handle this type of relationship, and things can get messy. If you're looking to embark on this awesome yet fearful sexcapade of having and maintaining a friends with benefits relationship, here are 9 tips to keep it drama-free and casual -- but most importantly, strictly friends.

  1. Honesty

    In order for the relationship between both parties to remain strictly casual and sex-only, both must be upfront about all desires and what they seek to get out of the relationship. You should have a sit-down with the person you're looking to be your FWB, and talk about what each of you want and don't want. Maybe you're only looking to hookup and never see the person otherwise, but maybe the other party actually wants to hang out on occasion.

    Having open dialogue and setting the ground rules for your FWB is extremely important before you engage in any type of activities with them.

  2. Don't Fall in Love

    I think this goes without saying, but for those of you who have hopeless romantic tendencies (which means a friends with benefits situation probably isn't for you) I'll say it again -- DO NOT FALL IN LOVE. It's easy to mistake bedroom chemistry with actual chemistry, but most of the time your FWB is only compatible with you through sex. If it helps, just stop and think, "Could I actually date this person?"

    In the rare occassion that the both of you catch feelings for one another, then that's a different story -- just look to Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits (2011). However, don't let yourself get left heartbroken when you want something more but your FWB doesn't. This all ties back into honesty, and making both of your intentions and feelings clear with one another.

  3. Don't Start a FWB Relationship with Someone You're Already Friends With

    I know the word "friends" is in the term, but just don't do it.

    No matter how much you think the relationship could stay strictly a friends with benefits situation, it could get messy. Contradictingly, friends with benefits relationships are not supposed to be with someone you are currently friends with. Chances are you've already established an underlying bond between the two of you if you've been friends with each other for a while, and FWB relationships are meant for someone you hardly know that well. Also, if you regularly see this person, as in they could be in your group of friends or you see them around campus or your city often, you could grow more attatched to them without even knowing it. And that's the number one thing we don't want in a friend with benefits.

  4. Don't casual text

    Don't start asking them how their day's been or routinely checking up on them to see how they are. Don't text them to go hang out or, even worse, ask them on a date unless it's to fuck. Although you can talk to them through text in a friendly way from time to time, don't make it much of a habit.

    Do, however, send risqué texts and sexy snapchat nudes to keep it interesting, but don't hit them up to fulfill boyfriend-type activities. The purpose of a FWB is so that there are no obligations to always text one another, always see one another, and ultimately all the "rules" that come with being in a traditional relationship with somebody. There's no room to lead to disappointment or resentment because there should be no expectations or obligations to be upheld by your FWB in the first place.

  5. Jealousy

    If you feel yourself starting to get jealous when it comes to your FWB seeing other people, end it.

    It can maybe cause a sting, but you shouldn't dwell on it or be overly upset if your FWB suddeny starts seeing someone seriously or gets into a committed relationship, or even hooks up with people that aren't you. We're all human beings with complex emotions, so obviously you can't stop feelings of jealousy completely all together, but you should know what levels you're entitled to feel, and in a FWB situation, not much is allowed.

  6. Know That It Could, and Will, End at Any Moment

    At some point in the relationship, your FWB situation will end, possibly due to the fact that your FWB entered a serious relationship.

    Like I said before, there are no obligations or commitments in a FWB relationship, so they are not obligated to stay your FWB for however long you want them to. This also goes back to not starting a friends with benefits relationship with someone you're already friends with, because when the relationship ends, you might lose the friend too, and the person in general.

    You have to be prepared to face that truth when it comes, and if you genuinely like your friend and appreciate the friendship between you and that person, it's best not to embark on this type of reltionship in the first place with them. Because after all, your situation will end and the two of you will have to cut ties.

  7. Be Cautionate When It Comes to Relationship-Type Behavior

    Just as with texting, you shouldn't be cuddling, holding hands, hugging, or committing any type of PDA with your FWB. Keep kissing outside of sex to a minimum, and don't regularly go out on dates with them. You don't need to stay the night after you have sex, and you shouldn't do muhc pillow-talking either.

    If you're thinking about inviting them as your date to a family function or a friend's wedding -- don't. Also, don't go around introducing them to all your friends as if they were your partner, either. Keep those areas of your life seperate from your relationship with your FWB because the more you bring them into the intimate and significant events in your life, the more emotionally invested in them you will become, which leaves room for hurt feelings and confusion that isn't necessary.

  8. Don't Limit Your Dating Opportunities

    Being in a FWB type of relationship does not mean you're confined to only seeing this person and engaging in sexual activities with them -- in fact, it's far from it! You should be able to see other people, and you should feel encouraged to. You can still date while having a friends with benefits, just know that if at any time you meet someone you see yourself wanting to be in a relationship with, end your FWB situation accordingly.

  9. Get Tested and Use Protection

    High chances are that your FWB, or you, are fucking other people as well. It's super important that you take care of your health and your partner's by getting tested and always carrying protction, like condoms, with you at all times when seeing your FWB. Your FWB should, too. Going back to honesty, it should be human decency that they let you know if they're seeing other people intimately, and vice versa. That way, both of you have control over your body and sexual health and can catch something quicker should the case may be. It's essential tht you disclose how many other people you're sleeping with in addition to your FWB, if you are at all, and even more important that if you or your partner think you've contracted something. Being truthful about it is better than a lie of omission about your sexual health -- because then things will get really dramatic if you have to find out on your own.