11 First Date Movies that Will Destroy Your Relationship

The first Netflix-and-Chill date of a relationship is exciting and crucial to setting the tone for a budding romance. Okay, so you've set the mood (extra points for building am epic pillow fort), popped the popcorn, and stocked up on candy. All that's left is the movie. Choosing the perfect film to watch can be tricky, especially with misleading movie titles and you trying to impress your date. I've compiled a list of movies that should be blacklisted from all date nights everywhere for the rest of eternity, to help keep your date from, well, crashing and burning.

Marley and Me

This movie is about a family and their adorable yet unruly dog Marley. On the surface, this film sounds like a winner. But don't be fooled by the puppy dog eyes.

Spoiler alert: The dog dies! Forget the happy ending you were hoping for, the dog actually dies in the end. This movie is no Beethoven's 5th. I mean watching a movie with human death is one thing, but a film that concludes with the passing of a beloved family dog? For the sake of your date night, skip this movie.

American Psycho

While suggesting to watch a classic While suggesting to watch a classic movie, such as this one, shows that you have a refined pallet when it comes to cinema your date might get the wrong impression of you while watching a misogynistic sociopath run around covered in blood.

Based on a book of the same name, this film is a dark but somewhat humorous critic on yuppie society which has earned itself a cult following. While you think your date might be impressed with your taste in satire, they might be a little distracted by all the rape and murder.

Save this movie for later on in your relationship, maybe when your date can be certain you aren't a sociopathic serial rapist/murderer.

Also, there's a dog death. Stay away from dog death on dates.

The Notebook

Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. Enough Said. Who wants to be compared to either of those perfect human beings by the person they're on a date with?

Plus this movie is bound to make any girl ugly cry. And by ugly cry, I do mean ugly. Like snot pouring down her face, eyes puffy, entire face red ugly cry. This is not the way to set any sort of mood unless it's a sad one.

The Human Centipede 1 or 2

It's one thing to watch a horror movie with someone to get a little snuggly with them. But it's another to watch either of these movies. This film is no Nightmare on Elm Street..

The sheer concept of this movie is enough to make your stomach turn. Why would you want to watch this on a date where you're trying to make a halfway decent impression?

TThe second one is particularly gruesome as it involves some seriously messed up sexual violence. There's one scene involving a toddler and a car that I can't even begin to describe.

Again, this isn't a movie to watch with anyone you don't know very well or risk them thinking you're absolutely insane.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

While this film is cricially acclaimed, and Rooney Mara plays a total badass, this will leave you either confused or a little confused and disturbed.

There are some seriously cringy moments in this film, which is also chalked full of sexual abuse. The story line is complicated and super dark. Again, not the kind of movie a normal person wants to watch on a first date.

500 Days of Summer

This movie is cute and quirky but also pretty upsetting, not to mention it depicts the decline of a relationship and all of the angry aftermath. Sure it works against the manic pixie dream girl trope, but that doesn't make it a good candidate for a first date movie.

You don't want to find yourself or your new and or potential lover sympathizing with the Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character, or meditating on Manic Pixie Dream Girls, self-pity, depression, or that heartbreaking expectation vs. reality scene.

This movie is an absolute mood killer. 0/10 do not recommend for date nights.

Shame

While a movie about a guy with a serious sex addiction sounds like it could set a steamy mood, in this case, it definitely will not. Sure, this movie is critically acclaimed, and Michael Fassbender delivers a harrowing performance, but it's no date movie.

Especially because this dude has a really strange relationship with his sister.

This film is heartbreaking and cringeworthy at times and features suicide attempts and misogynistic overtones. Again, if you're trying to get laid after your movie date, despite the sexual subject matter you can definitely find a better film to set the mood.

Blue Valentine

Again, this movie features the one, the only Ryan Flawless Gosling. Whom you don't want to find yourself being compared with. However, you might stand a chance being compared with him in this movie.

In this case, the word 'Valentine' in the title is extremely misleading. This film isn't about any sort of successful romance at all. In fact its about the messy and heartbreaking end of a once passionate and loving relationship. Yeah, sounds cheery right?

Why on earth would you want to watch a movie about a failing relationship before yours even gets off the ground? For the sake of you both staying dry-eyed and optimistic, maybe go for a comedy instead.

Compliance

This movie is based on some seriously cringe-worthy true events that baffled psychologists. It's about a girl who's working in a fast food restaurant when a man claiming to be a police officer calls and accuses the girl of theft. Her manager takes her into the back room, and strip searches her and carries out some other screwed up orders.

Sure, you might impress your date by putting on this little-known, yet critically acclaimed film. But just because it's an indie film doesn't make it a good way to impress your date.

Compliance wwill have you and your S.O. Questioning everything about your life as you cringe your way through 90 minutes of awkward.

We get it; you're a hipster. You don't have to subject anyone to this movie to prove it.

Closer

With it's star-studded cast and sexual content, Closer initially seems like it could be a decent candidate for a first date movie. But at the end of the film, the message of the story is clear: everyone lies, everyone cheats.

TThough Natalie Portman makes for a great stripper, and Jude Law and Clive Owen are total babes, this movie doesn't incite anything but paranoia - and maybe a confused and paranoid boner.

Starting off a relationship by watching a movie about cheating is never, ever a good idea.

Teeth

As I mentioned before some horror movies will help drive your lover into your arms, but this thriller probably won't do that. It will probably do the opposite.

If you haven't already seen the movie or heard of it, it's straight up about a girl who has teeth in her vagina and bites off the penises of those who wrong her.

Nothing worse than a woman scorned, am I right?

Though this movie is certainly empowering in a dark and comedic way, this might have your partner a little fearful of sex. And it will probably leave them wondering what kind of creep picks a movie about a murderous vagina to watch on the first date.