Sexting is exactly what it sounds like and has become a widespread phenomenon due to today’s modern technology. Whether you’re a pimple-faced teen in high school or a middle-aged businessman with a family, sexting has become a popular guilty pleasure amongst all ages.
For those who have not been fortunate enough to partake in sexting themselves, or those who simply didn’t know there was a name for it, sexting refers to the process of sending (and hopefully receiving) sexually explicit photographs or messages via text.
It is a sure way to spice up any relationship and can make your long workday all the more bearable if you want to be risky enough. So whether you are fooling around with your spouse of 20 years or trying to make moves on that girl you’ve been hanging out with, here are five do’s and don’ts when sexting:
A very hard rule to follow and one that isn’t followed very often is refraining from sexting with someone before actually having sex with them. Why you should do your best to uphold this rule is so that you don’t tease your partner too much.
If you tell someone all the dirty and sexy things you want to do to them, then they’ll be expecting such when the time actually comes and you’ll run the risk of falling short. A person’s imagination has to power to create an endless amount of scandalous scenarios and situations—especially when strongly aroused—but you don’t want to write any checks that you sexually can’t cash. You don’t want to promise Rico Suave and only deliver Steve Urkel.
Another reason to refrain from sexting before having sex is one of you may not be ready to do so yet, and sexting will only tease the other person even more. The more sex is talked about and made a topic of conversation, the more it’ll be a constant urge and desire. So if one of you aren’t ready to do the deed, then planning it out isn’t in your best interest.
We’ve all accidentally sent a text message to the wrong person; it is a typical mess-up in today’s day-and-age. When it happens, all you can do is simply apologize and clarify that it was meant for someone else and then proceed to send it to the right person, unless what you accidentally sent was a naked photo or sexually-detailed love message.
Believe it or not, this happens and it happens quite frequently. Imagine typing up a risqué text message that has your heart racing and your blood flowing in all the right areas; you click send and then instantly notice that the recipient says “Grandma” instead of “Gabriella.” Immediately your heart drops and you’re sick to your stomach, but just imagine how sick to her stomach ol’ Grandma is going to be! These slip ups make for hilarious sexting fails, but the last thing you want is to end up on a Buzzfeed listicle yourself.
With that being said, always check, double-check and then triple-check that your message is set to send to the right person so you refrain from giving your grandma a heart attack.
You and your partner don’t owe each other anything except mutual trust and confidentiality regarding your sexts. Sexting is a very intimate and personal matter and you are choosing to reveal yourself to this specific person, you should be able to expect that this person will not then show your sexts to other people. Leaking nudes makes you an asshole and in some states a criminal.
If you distrust someone or are suspicious of them even the tiniest bit, it is better to play it safe and save the dirty talk for in person. Everyone knows that girls gossip and guys like to brag; it wouldn’t be far-fetched at all to be worried about your partner sharing your explicit photos and messages with their friends.
Delete, delete, delete. Delete your messages! Far too often young kids are getting in trouble for sexting simply because they never deleted their messages and their parents saw. And believe me, it is not a fun experience. Again, it's hilarious to read about other people's sex fails, but you don't want to make that list.
Sure, it is nice to go back to previous messages and re-read them time and time again to get aroused, but it is simply not worth it. Even if getting caught by your parents is no longer a factor worth worrying about, having nude photos of yourself on your phone isn’t ideal either. Friends could easily be checking out your photo folder when all of a sudden they’ve seen a lot more of you than they have ever hoped to. Make sure to remember that there is also a “recently deleted” folder that you’ll have to clear out as well.
If you delete your photos or messages after every time and are merely saving the scandalous photos sent to you, it is best to download a “photo vault” off the app store. There are plenty of different apps to choose from that essentially create a locked photo album that is only opened with a passcode. This is by far the safest way to hold on to your precious photos and messages that are just too naughty to delete.
The easiest way to play the whole “sexting” thing safe is to simply not include your face in any pictures. This way, if trust among you and your partner is absent and you doubt they delete any of the pictures you send them, no one can ultimately tell it is you.
Also, some relationships don’t always end on good terms. That being said, I doubt you want your devilish ex to have exposing pictures of yourself for them to do with what they please. Having your face in the picture gives them much more reason to show their friends or even upload it online to get revenge.
So remember next time you’re taking a sexy photo for your partner, if there are no clothes, then there should be no face.