Relationship Advice: 17 Secrets You Need to Know

Whether you're in a relationship, on the brink of one, or are in the market for a significant other, it's best not to dive into a relationship blind. These short, but vital, pieces of advice can only help you move forward in your relationships.

  1. Relationships are messy, don't expect them to be anything short of complicated.

    Even if you have never been in a relationship of the romantic sort, it is more than likely that you have relationships with your family and friends. And you should know that platonic and familial relationships are complicated enough. If you expect romantic relationships to run smoother than a Disney romance, then you are in for a rude awakening.

    Expect things to be complicated and messy, but don't shy away. Embrace romantic relationships and all the complicated nonsense that comes with them.

  2. I know this is cheesy, but… try not to go to bed angry.

    Everyone says this. This quote is easily something repeated in every romantic comedy and by every overly-happy couple. But it is kind of helpful.

    While I know some arguments are much too long and complicated to solve in a single evening after work, you should try your hardest to make some progress in your fight before going to sleep. You will sleep easier and will continue moving forward in a positive direction.

  3. It's one thing to tell someone you love them, but another to tell them how much you appreciate them.

    Love is important in a relationship and while saying "I love you" often is important you need to let your partner know that you appreciate them.

    It's one thing to feel loved, but it's another to feel cherished and appreciated. Do something every day to let your partner know that you appreciate everything they do for you.

  4. Stop doing everything together.

    No one likes that couple that is way too into each other. If you own any amount of matching outfits and feel like you can't do anything without your partner by your side, you need to chill out.

    Give eachother a break from the other's company. Stop following your partner into the shower every single morning, don't always go shopping together, and spend time apart throughout the day.

    If you spend too much time with your partner, I promise you you're going to go insane.

  5. You're relationship isn't failing if you fight, it's HOW you fight that matters.

    You are going to fight. That is a given in any relationship. If you're not fighting in a relationship that could actually mean something is fundamentally wrong with you and your partner's relationship.

    Fight calmly. Keep the screaming to a minimum. Try to understand your partner's point of view. Work through conflict with patience and respect.

  6. Don't try to be your partner's whole life, and don't expect you to be theirs.

    You should NOT be your partner's entire life, and you should not be theirs. Don't expect that either. You should expect your partner to have a very vibrant life of their own.

    Yes, you should be trying to build a life together, but you should also understand that your partner had a life and thoughts and dreams before you.

    A good sign you're ready for a relationship is that you have a vibrant life of your own

  7. Sex isn't about orgasms. It's very much about the journey and not the destination.

    You shouldn't be having sex to cum. You should be having sex to please the other person. But also you should understand that pleasure doesn't equate to an orgasm.

    I think we can all agree orgasms are pretty gosh darn great, but you should concentrate on the foreplay and the act of sex itself aswell. Take the opportunity appreciate the road to an orgasm, not just the big O itself.

  8. Don't neglect your relationship with yourself.

    You are your own person. Don't forget that.

    Don't be a victim to self-abandonment and completely forget about practicing proper self-care. Remember that what you want in life is just as important as your partner's.

  9. Understand and appreciate the value of relationships regaurdless of how long they last.

    Relationships have two outcomes: they fail, or you stay together for ever.

    While breaking up sucks, you ought to keep in mind that relationships have value even if they fail. You should enjoy the time that you got to spend with that person (unless they were a total douche) and appreciate what you learn about yourself throughout the experience.

  10. Keep things hot in the bedroom.

    Sex is important in any relationship. Don't let things get boring! You need to keep things spicy between the sheets if you want to have a healthy relationship. The connection that you share with your partner in bed is something you should build upon.

    Make a "Want, Will, Wont List" Don't let that sexual flame get snuffed out by time, let time only build the fire you have for your lover!

  11. Don't hold yourself back.

    Don't keep any piece of yourself from your partner. They love you so that you can trust them with your whole self. Allow yourself to open up to your partner wholly and comprehensively.

    If you don't let your partner know your full self, your relationship will not be nearly as satisfying as it has the potential to be.

  12. Goals. Have them.

    And I don't just mean for your relationship or your life as a couple. Have personal goals aswell.

    Yes, you should have goals for you and your partner regarding where you want to go in life. However, you should never lose sight of your personal and professional goals.

    This harkens back to not allowing your partner to become your whole world. You need to have goals for yourself to live a fulfilling life and have a healthy relationship.

  13. Don't stay together if things aren't working. Be together for the right reasons.

    Love is not enough for a functioning, healthy relationship.

    Even if you have a lot of love for your partner, you should be ready to call it quits if the relationship becomes unhealthy. Staying together when it is clear the relationship isn't working is outright unfair for both of you.

  14. Don't keep up with the Joneses, or the Kardashians, or anyone for that matter.

    Your relationship is unique to the two of you, don't try to copy or live up to what you might see on television or in your friends' relationships.

    Don't try to have what other people have. Sure, you can admire people who have healthy relationships, and you can strive to have a relationship that functions as well as theirs. But you should not be fighting to have the exact relationship they have. People love in different ways. Just because you and your partner don't have cute pet names, or what have you, doesn't make your relationship any less healthy and beautiful as your buddy Steve's.

  15. The little things add up.

    Fight about things. Why? Because if you don't fight about things or bring tiny hurtful or annoying things to your partner's attention, they are going to add up.

    And what happens when they add up? You become extremely resentful and angry. Do you know what kills relationships? Resent, hurt, and anger.

  16. People change. Embrace how you and your partner evolve because you will change over time. You will be surprized how much and in what ways.

    A lot of people come to a point when they realize that their partner isn't the same as the person they started dating several years prior. And guess what? Neither are they.

    Everyone changes. Embrace the change. If your partner becomes a terrible, horrible person, then maybe reconsider the relationship. But just because they've aged physically and mentally shouldn't change how you feel about them. In fact, if they're willing to waste time with you, your love should only grow along with the number of wrinkles on their face.

  17. Have respect for one another.

    When it comes down to it, relationships are built on respect. Less so on love and more so on respect for one another.

    If either you or your partner begins to lose respect for the other, then that's how you know you're in real trouble.