Halloween Handbook: How to Survive Partying on Halloween Like a Boss

Halloween is probably one of the biggest party weekends for people of all ages. Everyone from elementary aged kids to their parents goes nuts on this Holiday. So while all the kiddies are out Trick-or-Treating, you'll just be getting started.

Like most huge party weekends, Halloween has the reputation of - well - being a sort of hot mess. SNL got it right when they did this skit which accurately depicts how quickly the chill-est of evenings can go awry on Oct. 31st. Maybe it's all the dark magic in the air that makes Halloween such a shit show at times, or maybe it's all that dark liquor…

Regardless of what factor you hold responsible for your ghoulish behavior, it's always best to prepare yourself for big weekends like this. Even if you're staying in your town or city, you probably should treat Halloween like you would a trip to Vegas. Honestly, there are so many variables to consider the last thing you want to deal with is something you could have easily prevented - like wearing kitten heels instead of stripper boots.

Here's some advice on how to try to keep your Halloween from becoming your own personal hell.

  1. Be Mindful of Your Makeup… and Your Skin

    While this might not seem to be a critical measure to undertake, especially to the macho men reading, I promise you that you will not regret this. Part of partying like a boss means looking like a boss while you're out. It's hard to seem like a boss with horrifically smudged makeup.

    I think we can all agree that Halloween is hard on your body, especially your liver and - surprisingly - your face. Women who wear makeup every day at least understand the importance of skin care, regardless of if they're guilty of sleeping in their mascara. When October 31st rolls around both men and women, seem to be more focused on their costume choice than how harsh they are being on their skin.

    When dressing up for Halloween, you're usually packing on the makeup. And you're probably using stuff you wouldn't use on a day to day basis, like liquid latex and fake blood. Even if you're not wearing any makeup as a part of your costume, marathon partying is draining and dehydrating. Which is why you should prep your face for what it's about to endure.

    Make sure you cleanse and prime your skin before you slather on your creepy clown makeup. But whatever you do don't exfoliate. This makes your skin more vulnerable to acne! Doing these things will keep your makeup from running while you're out.

    Another important thing to remember is that yOU ARE WEARING MAKEUP. No matter how much you drink don't rub your face. Please don't rub your face. Otherwise, you're going to help your eyeliner migrate all the way down your face, and you're going to end up looking like a hot mess. Bring stuff to touch up your makeup if you need to or put a little makeup remover in your purse just in case. Invest in some hardcore setting spray and yes, guys, this goes for you too.

    When you get home, make sure you take your makeup off before you go to bed. The last thing you want is to have to deal with fake blood and liquid latex in the morning. Plus this will keep your face from revolting against you in a flurry of pimples and blackheads. This is when you should exfoliate to get rid of residual makeup and build-up. Make sure you're giving your skin some love post-Halloween because no boss party looks like death 5 days after the function.

  2. Make Sure Your Costume is Comfortable Enough for Hours of Partying

    You know that girl who ditches her heels as soon as she gets to the party and slowly strips off her costume as the night goes on? You might have even been this girl. Well, don't be that girl this year.

    While looking sexy and maintaining the integrity of your costume is important, you might want to consider how hard that upkeep is going to be. You don't want to be that girl painfully walking around in her heels in a way that resembles a newborn deer. So maybe instead of wearing those 12-inch platform stripper heels, you opt for a more conservative option instead. And ladies make sure your corset isn't tied too tight. We ditched those a while ago because they're so damn uncomfortable. Make sure that you can breathe, because along with corsets we rid ourselves of fainting couches too.

  3. Watch What You're Drinking

    I think this should go without saying. But here you are about to suffer another horrific hangover so here we go…


    For some reason, people forget that their actions on Halloween will have consequences. So when you're out at the bar taking shots, try to watch what your drinking. Try to stick to one thing. And yes, I know, your favorite bar has a ton of drink specials, and I know your friend made spooky jungle juice, but just because booze is cheap - or free - doesn't mean you should drink it. I think we all know that whatever's in that bucket of jungle juice isn't top shelf.

    Love yourself enough to drop a little extra cash on a nicer bottle of vodka or a mixed drink with mid to top shelf liquor. I promise you'll thank yourself tomorrow when you're not puking into a jack-o-lantern.

  4. Stay Away From Killer Clowns

    I can't believe this is a real thing, but 2016 just keeps getting wierder…

    So if you see a killer clown just run. Don't taunt them. Don't try to fight them. And frat boys, reagurdless what kind of badass you're dressed as, please don't hunt them. Please for the love of god just run.

    Just run and call the cops. They'll get arrested because believe it or not they're breaking the law by being assholes in public.

  5. If You're Planning on Getting Laid Go Easy on the FX Makeup …

    words If getting laid is on your to-do list this Halloween you might want to steer clear of excessive fake blood and what not.

    Because when you've been drinking, and covered in fake blood, you tend to forget that you're covered in fake blood. And when you're back home with that special someone, you both are going to forget about all that fake blood and probably stain something very important and/or expensive. So yeah, use fake blood sparingly.

  6. …Or don't.

    Or just don't. Live out your Twilight-influenced vampire fantasy. Or for those on Team Jacob, cover yourself in fake hair and Spirit Gum and go for it. Who am I to judge?