Even if you are the luckiest woman in the world, you're likely going to feel empty unless you have someone to share it with.
The desire to feel loved is something everyone can relate to. However, girls are usually taught to go about dating all wrong. Especially in this digital age, we are usually given some terrible relationship advice when it comes to dating.
Here are seven key steps to getting a boyfriend, that you probably have never even heard of.
…or at least act like you don't.
One of the most telling ways to know if you're ready for a boyfriend is feeling like you don't want one.
When you reach a place in your life where you don't feel like you need a man to make yourself content or feel complete, is when you probably are ready for one.
Even if you don't feel completely apathetic about the prospect of beginning a relationship, you should try to act as such. You shouldn't need to have a man to make you feel complete. However, it's okay to want a significant other! Almost everyone feels the desire to be loved by someone else, so don't think that you're desperate for wanting a boyfriend. That desire is only natural.
Now that you're in a place where you aren't aching - or at least always aching - for a boyfriend, you're actually ready to consider men as potential suitors.
And by stop trying, I don't mean that you should let yourself go! Looking put together and maintaining good hygiene is key. But I'm not exaggerating when I say that men can smell desperation a mile away.
Everything you do shouldn't be done with the goal of making you seem attractive. There's nothing wrong with dressing up for a night out with the goal of attracting a guy, but you shouldn't be putting this kind of effort into every single decision you make.
Men can sense when you're trying too hard and trying too hard will repel men. What men find incredibly attractive is women who are focused on their own success. If you spend most of your time worrying about what you think of you than what others might think of you, you will find that men will be attracted to you.
For the same reason, guys like it when girls play hard to get is why guys like it when women aren't trying. It's more attractive for men to have to impress you than for you to constantly try to gain male approval. Make it so that they have to impress you! Not the other way around.
A power outfit is an outfit that you feel like a complete and utter badass in. A power outfit should make you feel strong, sexy, and not to be trifled with.
I recommend you have a power outfit for every occasion - business, social, and otherwise - that come in at different places on the sexy scale.
You should have a formal business outfit that makes you feel like a total #girlboss, as well as business casual outfits that make you feel the same way. You should also have a go-to going-out ensemble that makes you feel like Beyonce because let's face it, we all want to be Beyonce.
Have a brunching dress that makes you feel like a queen before you even touch those bottomless mimosas. A meet-the-parents outfit is a must too, but this shouldn't be anywhere near as sexy as your going-out outfit.
You never know where you might meet a man, so on days when you need a confidence boost you can always put on a power outfit and feel flawless. If you look put together when that hot barista asks you to dinner, he'll never know that you were having a mental breakdown moments before he handed you your coffee.
There is nothing more unattractive than a woman who plays dumb.
Sure, you might come across cute and innocent on your first date, but the last thing you want to do is give the impression that you are naive and can be taken advantage of.
A lot of (older) people will probably recommend that you need to dumb yourself down so that you don't intimidate your man. But I say that if a man is intimidated by your intelligence, high career position, or overall wit then he isn't man enough for you. You want your guy to be your equal and treat you as such.
So be your smart self on a date. Don't pretend like you don't know things or laugh at his jokes if they're not funny. Don't pretend like you're not a big boss at work and certainly don't hide that you are capable. If a guy can't handle that you are a smart, successful, woman, then you need to find a man who is grown enough to handle you.
Remember how I said that regardless of what people say that men like it when women play hard to get? Well, this tip plays right into that principle of attraction.
You should never cancel plans for a date. You should never move plans around for a date. You should, however, plan your dates around your life.
While I think playing hard to get can be a little ridiculous, I do think that being every so slightly unavailable can definitely work to your advantage. Playing hard to get can definitely get out of hand fast but not sacrificing your prior plans to make a date will make you seem more desirable. Even if your plans are with your couch and the new season of Grey's Anatomy, don't dare cancel them for a guy.
Plus this keeps you from getting exhausted. Both work and maintaining your relationship with friends can be incredibly exhausting; dating adds another layer to this social fatigue. Don't sacrifice your time with friends - or your time alone - for a date either. And if he asks why you could hang out with your friends but didn't have time for him, consider this a major red flag. You are a modern woman, and modern women are busy. The last thing a modern woman needs is a man who tries to control every hour of her life. These men are also prone to jealousy.
Dangling yourself right out of his reach will allow him to avoid the thrill of the chase without you outright playing mind games.
And no, Netflix is not an option - at least at first.
One of the biggest reasons why it's difficult to get into a relationship is because of the gray areas. We live in an era where hookup culture thrives and everyone likes to pretend they don't have feelings. This has definitely led to the decline of actual dates. Instead all we do is "hang out".
Don't settle for hanging out. It's okay to call it hanging out at first but once it starts to become something more, call it what it is: dating. Make sure you use the word dating too so that you're both on the same page as far as your relationship.
Avoid "Netflix-and-Chilling" at first. Avoid hanging out late at night at either of your apartments. Avoid anything that makes you feel like a high schooler.
Go on real dates. Get coffee. Get dinner. Go to a play or a museum. Do things that are more special than Netflix. Bring some actual romance into your dates. And after three to four weeks of seeing each other, don't be afraid of using the word "date".
If you are spending your time with someone who isn't right for you, or who isn't interested in having a relationship, then guess what you're doing? Preventing yourself from actually finding a boyfriend!
Your time is valuable, especially if you are spending it with someone romantically. It's not worth the extra pain and heartbreak to waste your time and emotions on someone who is emotionally unavailable or someone who isn't suited for you in the first place.
As soon as you sense that dating someone isn't worth the time or effort, cut it off. Don't let them lead you on and don't make excuses for them because most of the time you'll just be projecting your own feelings onto them.
While it might feel like you're taking a giant step back in your pursuit of a boyfriend, cutting someone off that isn't a good match is actually a massive step forward in the right direction.
Because how can you be ready for the right guy, if you're unavailable?