How to Attract Women 101: 5 Tricks to Wooing the Ladies

Attracting woman is somewhat of a lost art now that we rely so heavily on the internet to do our dating for us. If anything apps like Tinder and sites like Hot or Not have completely destroyed how we view one another. We're so quick to mentally swipe right or left on those around us, dating in person seems like an impossible feat.

That being said, women swoon at the thought man capable of flirting without the aid of his smartphone and a free dating app. That's your opening, become that man.

Here are a few tips that will help you attract women in the real, live, three-dimensional world.

  1. Be better groomed than your dog

    There are very few things in this world less attractive than a man who is poorly kept. A few of which include: the filth that accumulates underneath your fridge, having garlic breath without actually eating garlic, and steaming hot garbage.

    If you want to have any chance of attracting a human woman, you're going to literally need to clean up your act (we'll get to the figurative part later).
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    Let's go over the basics, shall we? At the very least you need to regularly bathe, brush your teeth and hair, and dress in clothing that isn't covered in pizza grease. If you are put together to this extent, then you are at least ahead of 50% of the male population. If you're incapable of achieving the most basic level of hygine, then that's a total deal breaker

    Women appreciate a guy who can not only achieve basic hygiene but someone who can go well above that. I encourage you to look at what the four Chris' - Hemsworth, Pine, Pratt, and Evans - are wearing. These guys have a rugged, yet styled, everyman looks, This is what you should be going for.

    If you're the artsy or high fashioned sort, check out Lookbook.nu. Those who are inclined toward fashion post photos of their outfits and usually tag where they bought their clothes. You can search based on brand, color, piece of clothing, and occasion. So if you're ever without a stylish outfit, you have an entire database of ideas (which means you have no excuse to look like a total scrub).

    Are you ready for the ultimate pro tip? Okay, well... one of the best ways to attract a woman is to smell good. And by good, I don't mean like half a bottle of AXE. I mean like subtle-cologne-good. Get yourself a bottle of some wonderful smelling cologne - if you have any doubt about how good it smells ask a chick working there or bring a gal pal to help you - and apply it sparingly.

    So, the next time you think about making a move on a girl in your general vicinity, you can be sure that slight and constant air movement has laid the groundwork for you.

  2. Get a MANicure

    Yes, hands and nails have their own section. Why? Because they're very important to your image.

    Whether you're working with your hands, an office dweller, or a musician you need to keep your nails clean. Women fixate on men's hands. Hands say a lot about a man, so pay attention to their upkeep. You would fixate on a woman's hands too if they were anything but somewhat manicured; but this has become a standard across the female population, yes, even with lesbians - especially with lesbians. A vast population of men hasn't figured out that clean hands and well-kept nails say something about the man they are attached to.

    It is super gross to hang out with a guy whose nails are longer than your acrylics and whose hands are covered in who-knows-what. There is no reason for your hands to be freshly covered in dirt on a date. It's understandable if you work in a trade to have hands that are literally rough around the edges and that's okay. Some women are very into that. Just make sure to give your hands a good scrub once you're done welding or putting out fires or building infrastructure with your bare hands.

    Additionally, your nails should not be long and gross. If your nails are anywhere near scratching length, clip them. Now. The only time your nails should be long is if you're a musician. And if that's the case, keep them clean. And if you have a possibility of getting some file them down to a length that isn't completely lethal. There are spas that specialize in Man"icures and you can always go to a spa for a quick buff and file, just make sure they don't come at you with a clear coat.

  3. Have manners, please and thank you

    One of the most attractive things is when a man has manners. When a guy is impolite toward not only her but waitstaff or those around them, it's an immediate turn-off.

    For some reason, there has been an increase in people completely forgetting their manners - and it's not just men. However, when women are looking around for a potential partner, one of the first things they'll notice is their ability manners - or lack there of.

    Acting like you're god's gift to this world will not get you anywhere I promise. If you're a total douche, you will not be attracting the kind of attention you want to get.

  4. Leave mansplaining for the neckbeards

    Again, this point is more of a follow-up to my previous rant on manners, and why you need them.

    I'm sure as a member of the male persuasion you have heard of the recent phenomena of mansplaining." Well, firstly this isn't some new behavior that recently sprang up in the last few years. No, this act of a man thinking he needs to explain something to a woman because he thinks he, a big strong man, thinks he knows better only recently received a proper name.

    While I'm sure not every man does this from a deeply prejudice place, it comes from a place of privilege. Don't just assume that this girl may not understand something or be as well educated on a topic as you. You might be surprised to find yourself talking to a connoisseur - or even someone with a Ph.D. - on the subject.

    So, if you feel yourself beginning to start a sentence with "Well, you see...", stop yourself and question as to why you don't think this woman understands this concept. If there is no reason she wouldn't know about the topic of conversation, let it go. If she needs some background info, she'll ask. Or she'll pretend like she knows what you're talking about and googles it later (come on, we're all guilty of this).

  5. Do not be afraid to make moves

    If there is one thing that is lacking in the dating sphere, it's a man who is capable of making a move.

    We exist in a limbo of casual dating, so casual in fact a lot of people have no idea the true intentions behind a guy asking to "hang" later. One thing that women love are clear signals and a guy capable - and brave enough - to send them are few and far between.

    So be this guy. Be unafraid to ask someone out on a bonafide date. Instead of asking "hang" later, ask to "get dinner," because let's be real, there's a big difference between being asked to coffee and asked to dinner; because coffee could still be a casual-friend thing!

    Don't worry about sounding too forward or not sounding cool. Send those clear signals, man! Go out there and be straightforward! Believe me; you'll save both you and the object of your affections a whole lot of time by sparing them the casual limbo.

It isn't difficult to make yourself somewhat marketable to single women. Sure, it takes a little extra effort to have women shooketh by your mere presence. Try to be attractive and not a walking reason for women to swear off men.