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5 Things Never to Say on a First Date

First dates can be nerve-racking. You begin questioning everything, from the color of your socks to the way you smile and say “hello.” While there are plenty of ways to prepare for a first date, there are only a few that can actually work and prove beneficial.

One of these ways is to prepare a list of topics you should NOT bring up during the date. Instead of preparing a list of topics to talk about, preparing a list of things you shouldn’t talk about can keep the conversation genuine and natural. If you were to have a predetermined list of topics in your head, then you’d keep trying to steer the conversation in one of those directions instead of naturally letting it flow.

A list of topics to avoid simply reminds you subconsciously to refrain from asking about things of that nature and still allows the conversation to be present and unscripted.

With that being said, there are topics to avoid on a first date and they are far more important than worrying about what topics to include. Whether you’re on a first date with hopes for a second, or you just want to score some tonight, bringing up any of the following topics may ruin your chances. Here are five topics to avoid talking about on a first date:

  1. Your Ex

    A no-brainer in most cases, but do not under any circumstance bring up your ex; not even to bad mouth them. Your date doesn’t care about your past lover and certainly does not want to hear about them. No one likes being compared to others, and that is exactly what your date will think you are doing the minute you bring up your past relationship.

    And the road goes two ways; I doubt you’d like to hear about your date’s exes and past relationships. This only creates a sense of competition and is more likely than not to also make you feel uncomfortable.

    Just know that you two are the ones out on a date now and that the relationship could blossom into something far greater than any past relationship either of you had.

  2. Your "Awful" Job

    More likely than not, your date will ask about your job and work-life. Whether you hate your job, your boss, your coworkers or simply the coffee sweetener in the break room, do your best to refrain from bringing any of that negative energy into the conversation.

    Nearly everyone resents some aspect of their job; it is the very essence of having a job, and no one wants to be reminded of those feelings of resentment while out on a nice date. If you begin badmouthing your job, it may no longer be a nice date for much longer.

    A person who enjoys their life and the work that they do is much more attractive and radiates much more confidence.

  3. Religion and Politics

    I decided to group these two subjects together because they are both very controversial topics that have been known to ruin relationships and certainly first dates.

    This is a total deal breaker. These topics can evoke strong emotional responses from people, so it is best to refrain from mentioning them. It is okay to state that you are Catholic if asked so, but do not begin preaching or talking down to someone for not believing in the same.

    This goes for politics as well. These topics can be important to people, and they may ask which side you lean towards, but do not say anything more than which party you support, if even that much.

    Keep conversation regarding these topics very minimal and attempt to subtly change subjects when possible. It is far too easy to offend people and become offended when talking about religion and politics, and I doubt that is what you want on a first date.

  4. Complaints

    No one likes a complainer; it dampens the mood and inflicts negativity upon yourself and the date as a whole. Better yet, no one likes a whiner, which is basically what you’ll appear to be doing.

    Your date doesn’t want to hear about your annoying neighbor or the idiotic driver on your commute that morning. You’ll want to portray your life and daily habits in as much positive light as possible.

    That doesn’t mean to exaggerate how many miles you run each day or lie about the model of car you have, but instead, just sound like a fun and positive person who your date will want to spend more time around.

    A person who finds the positives in any situation can be an uplifting and enjoyable person to hang around, so do your best to act as such and remember not to complain.

  5. Money

    Money should never be a factor in whether you are attracted to a certain person or not and that’s why it should also never be a conversation topic on a first date.

    How much someone earns at their job is a personal matter and is very rude to ask about, especially when you’re also still asking simpler questions like their birthdate or where they grew up.

    Even if you know for a fact that your date makes a very comfortable amount due to their place of business or job title, it may seem rude and unbecoming to ask. It is smart just to refrain from any form of the topic and simply ask how they enjoy working where they do.

    While a money talkshould happen in a serious realtionship, it is the furthest thing from a first date topic.

First dates can be terrifying, and the anxiety beforehand has the potential to make a person mad. But don’t go mad; prepare yourself a few days in advance and remember to remain cool, calm and collective at all times. If you do that, act like yourself and avoid all of the mentioned topics above, you should be good to go.

Remember to remain respectful of your date at all times and refrain from talking about any subjects that may be uncomfortable for them. Always remember to think before you speak, it’s becoming a dying art in today’s day-and-age, and it’s starting to show in the dating world. Good luck and I hope you score that second date or simply score that night.