Nothing can be more nerve-wracking than a first date. "What do I wear? How should I do my hair? What are we going to talk about?" There are a million questions people asks themselves as they panic over a first date.
Something about having dinner with another person who is slowly but surely judging you to see if you two are compatible in any way seems to really make people nervous. Anyways, down below are five do's and don'ts for any first date you may be freaking out over:
Whether you are meeting your date there or picking them up beforehand, absolutely do not be late. Arriving on time or even a tad early lets your date know that you are excited and that your time together is your main priority.
Plan for traffic, plan for missing car keys, plan for a giant wardrobe malfunction; no matter the case, plan as though something will inevitably delay your time. I've always found it useful to think as though the date is 30 minutes before it really is, that way I begin getting ready far ahead of time and will have the time to spare if I can't find any clean socks or I just now realized my nice shirt has a stain on the back of it.
Showing up late to an event-especially a first date-portrays a lack of responsibility. If you're picking your date up from his/her house, showing up late will immediately set your off on the wrong foot with their parents or roommates. While this may not always be the case, it is simply better to plan ahead than play catch-up.
Nothing is more disrespectful and unbecoming than someone using their phone while you are out on a date with them. I see it at fancy restaurants, yogurt shops and even breweries.
There will be one person awkwardly looking around, in search of anything to give their attention to and seem busy, and another person with their head down, phone out on the table and a single finger being used to scroll up and down. Not only is this extremely rude to your date-even when it's not just a first date and maybe you've been married 15 years-but it boldly states a message of, "There are far more important things on my phone or elsewhere than here with you."
Sadly, many people don't even mean to do it. Nowadays, people are addicted to their phones; they can't go a few minutes without looking at it. When they hear their text message notification or any other update, their ears perk and their mouths begin to water. Do away with this temptation and put your phone away!
Turn it on silent and put it away! Not at the end of the table, or in your lap, but completely away where you can no longer see it. Granted this may only be in your pocket, but feeling the buzz in your pocket is far less tempting than seeing your screen light up right before your eyes and you immediately think how it'll only take a few seconds to reply. But it's a lie, one reply always leads to another, so just put the damn phone away!
Give your date undivided attention and show them how excited you are to be spending time with them. Even if they go on their phone every now and then, don't give in. You refraining from using your phone will quickly become apparent to them and then they will likely stop looking at theirs.
Even if your date is at the bar, do not, for any reason, drink too much! This rule seems very lackadaisical-due to it involving alcohol-but it is extremely important. No one likes an awkward first date. And no one likes a drunkard. So I cant imagine who the hell would like an awkward first date with a drunkard. Getting drunk on the first date is a huge no-no.
A beer or glass of wine with your meal is totally acceptable, and actually encouraged to help you loosen up a bit, but don't find it suitable to be ordering shots of tequila or other hard liquor. The characteristics of being drunk-loud, easy tempered, slow cognitive and motor skills-are not the typical characteristics girls are looking for in a man and are certain to completely ruin the date.
Drinking too much will give off the impressions that you have a drinking problem, you're socially awkward and feel the need to drink to relax or you're merely just a sleazeball. One must remain cool, calm and collected at all times. One should constantly remain on their "A game" while on a date and making a first impression, and too much alcohol can end the game for you real quick.
In all honesty, this tip is more directed at the women than the men. And that is because I truly believe an honest gentleman will offer to and actually pay for the date. It is merely what I feel should be done and I say that because of my own personal experiences.
As a man, paying for our dates gives us a feeling of honor and maturity. It truly is a pleasure paying for the meal or movie or round of miniature golf; it is complete fulfillment knowing you provided your date with a great meal or a great night.
For the women, offering to pay even after your date already claimed he would is a sign of generosity and also independence. Your offer to pay exemplifies your kindness and also solidifies the feelings of honor in your date. I am not saying that men should pay every time you go out or anything of that sort, I understand that women are independent and can provide not only for themselves, but their loved ones.
I am merely saying that on a first date, men should be jumping at the chance to pay and it is greatly admired and appreciated when a woman offers anyways.
We all know someone who talks too much and how aggravating in can be. Either they don't understand a pause in conversations or any and every topic is about them. No matter the dilemma, don't let it be you. Overcome your fear of awkward silences and don't be afraid to use it as a tool to get them to talk more.
The best way to not talk too much is by asking questions. Asking questions not only keeps a conversation going and allows your date a chance to talk, but it portrays a deep level of interest on your part. It will demonstrate that you care to get to know your date and all that they do-which you should already care about, granted that you are on a date with them.
Talking too much will lead your date to believe that you are self-centered and merely looking for praise and attention. Don't focus on yourself or bring up stories that are unrelated to the current conversation. If asked a question about something, answer, but don't go on a tangent and turn it into story time.
But it is also important to note than you can talk too much merely by asking too many questions. As you sit and wait for your food is great time to talk and get to know your date, but tone it down a bit once the food arrives so you both have a chance to eat. It won't be flattering when you ask a question just as your date is taking a huge bite of their dinner.
So just relax and go with the flow; allow the conversation to come naturally and don't be afraid of moments of silence.