With 100% confidence, I can say that every single girl on this earth has had to deal with a crazy ex or creepy guy in some shape or form. Whether it was a man who wouldn't stop stalking her at work or an ex that had strange ways of showing affection, every girl has a crazy dude story. Here are some of the creepiest stories that medal in this edition of Creeper Olympics.
"I went on a couple dates with this guy who straight up thought he was a werewolf.
He seemed really normal at first, but then I noticed that he would cancel dates after planning them saying he needed to be in bed early on certain nights of the month.
I thought it was for work or something, but he confessed to me when there was a newspaper article about a bunch of sheep being killed by coyotes one night.
He said he thought it was him and asked me to help chain him up at night.
I stopped going on dates with him after that."
"I went out with this guy on our first real date that didn't involve a coffee shop. I thought he was trying to impress me because he picked this fancy restaurant for dinner. Everything was pretty expensive on the menu, so I ordered this seafood bisque that was mid-priced, so I didn't seem like a cheap date or like I was gold digging.
Dinner went great, and we headed back to his place to talk, which naturally escalated to fooling around a little. When he pulled out a condom, I stopped him saying that I wanted to take things slow.
That's when he threw a fit. He went on about how he deserved to get laid because he bought me seafood!
When I told him no, he tried to bargain with me by saying he'd take me out to dinner to another expensive place next week. I left pretty quickly after that. And no, we definitely didn't go out again."
Ugh, I feel you Grace. And so does Iliza Shelsinger. She does a whole bit about how you should never order lobster in her stand up special, watch it here!
"One night at dinner this guy asked about my nose ring. He asked when I got it and how much it hurt, you know, the normal stuff.
Then he asked if I had any more and I showed him the couple piercings that I had on my ears. And then he asked again. I was confused as to what he meant until he blatantly gestured toward my crotch.
I awkwardly told him no and then tried to change the subject. But he kept pressing me about the topic, asking if I'd ever consider getting one. I shrugged and then succeeded in changing the subject.
On our third or fourth date he kept hinting that I should get one. He'd ask me if I'd get one if it turned a potential partner on and things like that.
I told him no and gradually stopped talking to him for fear of our winding up at a piercer's table on our next date."
"I was at work when two guys came up to my register. They had a pretty complicated order, so I started the process of ringing them up.
This guy, who looked to be in his 50's, started talking to me. He asked how old I was and then asked when I was off work. I told him I was getting off much later than I was going to that night. Then he asked if he could take me out to coffee when I was off work because he found me attractive.
I told him he absolutely couldn't and when he asked me why I said I had a boyfriend. He replied to this by saying 'Well, you're not married.'
Grossed out, I quickly finished ringing them up and handed the creepy guy his receipt. Before he left, he told me that, though it was none of his business, I should take my nose ring out because it ruined my face."
"When I was studying abroad in England I met this guy. We really hit it off and maintained a FWB kind of relationship while I was there, which started to fizzle out after he started sleeping with other girls.
I started seeing other people too but went out with him one of the nights before I moved back. We went out with some friends to dinner and then to a club. At the club, he was dancing with other girls, so I didn't expect much attention from him.
Late in the night he came up to me, super drunk, and professed his love for me. I didn't really know what to do, so I dodged him all night until we left the club.
Two years later he decided to a year abroad at my university. He still tries to talk to me but sleeps with tons of other girls, sometimes two in a night.
Thankfully were in completely different majors and social circles so it's easy for me to avoid him."
- Rachel, 21
"I started dating this guy, and everything was going great until he literally started acting like a different person.
All of a sudden he had a temper and became somewhat suicidal. It was so confusing how he literally became a different person seemingly overnight.
But then I figured out he had been diagnosed with a handful of mental illnesses - several years ago - that he forgot to tell me about. Not only that, but he decided to go off of his meds.
I broke up with him and he still spreads rumors that I'm a terrible person for breaking up with him. Oh well."
- Juliet, 18
"I work at a brunch place and get a lot of older, suburban-looking customers all the time.
I was serving these two old grandpa-looking types, and one got up to use the restroom right before I brought out the check. The older guy still sitting at the table took care of it, and I rang him up.
As they were leaving, I grabbed the receipt and noticed he'd left me a 40$ tip along with his number and a note asking to be my sugar daddy.
- Natasha, 21
"After I went on a first date with this guy I gave him a hug after we left the restaurant. We held hands as he walked me down the street to where I parked my car.
Halfway to my car he literally turned to me and said something like, 'Not gonna lie, I'm pretty hard after that hug' and tried to kiss me.
I honestly didn't know what to do. I just walked stifly to my car and swerved him and kissed him on the cheek. Then I got the hell out of there.
- Katherine, 23
"This guy that I firmly put in the friend zone clearly didn't get the hint. He kept coming into work and asking if I was in, saying that he was my boyfriend.
I straight up had to hide in the back of the store until he left. Eventually, my coworkers caught on and started warning me when he came in.
I think he finally got the point, or found a new girl to stalk, because - thank God - he doesn't come into my store anymore."
- Tati, 24
"He got the same tattoo that I have. Pretty shortly after we broke up. It's a very distinct symbol for a band he didn't even like when we were together.... so I know it wasn't for him. It's in basically the exact same spot too - mine is on my sternum and his is just a few inches off. Pretty fucked up I'd say.
He also used to 'mediate' in my yard in the middle of the night to 'feel my energy'."
- Olivine_, on Reddit
To read more creepy ex stories like this, check out this thread on Reddit.
"I went on a date with this guy that I met online. He was pretty horrible, but I decided it was better to suffer through coffee than to get up early and make a scene.
And then he hit me with some serious creepy-ness. He essentially told me that I should consider a career in porn because I looked like I'd be good at it. To make matters worse, he followed that up with the creepiest smile physically possible.
I didn't even say anything. I was at a complete loss for words. I just stood up, grabbed my purse and walked out."
- Carmilla, 24