You dressed in those pants that make your ass pop, your cologne/perfume has been applied to its perfect amount, and your hair has never looked so good -- you're ready for a night at the bar and an even later night in a stranger's bed. But things don't always go as planned.
You're at the bar and not attracting the attention you expected. Soon, you believe your ass has gone flat, your cologne/perfume stale and your hair all greasy -- the sexy feeling that ignited within you earlier is now nonexistent. You don't understand what you're doing wrong, or what you're not doing at all, that has made you appear invisible to others. The thing is, it's not that you appear invisible, just that you appear plain, or basic, or like a goody-good.
This dilemma does not happen with everyone, as some people were just born sexy, but it is far more common than thought. People are constantly trying to appear sexy -- appear like they are the epitome of sex and that they will give it to you fantastically. Now I don't mean looking like a slut, but merely smiling seductively at the right moments and standing in a way that screams confidence in bed. Some people were born with these gifts and don't even realize how sexy they are half the time, while others are completely unaware of how goofy they look.
If you find yourself to be part of the latter, read on to discover 9 ways to instantly increase your sex appeal.
As the classic saying goes, "actions speak louder than words." And sometimes, these actions can be the slightest of movements; from smiling with your front teeth to spreading your arms and taking up as much space as possible, the slightest variances in body language can speak volumes.
How your standing at the bar, where your standing at the bar, who you're standing with -- all these factors determine how you will be perceived by those around the room. Do you exude confidence by the way you have your arms wide across the bar, taking up space? Or do you symbolize insecurity by the way your arms are at your side and other people are squeezing in front of you to order?
A key to increasing your sex appeal through body language is to only make controlled movements. Cool, calm and collected people don't sit there and fidget with their fingers or have a restless leg -- they lean back, take up space, remain relaxed and only make controlled movements. Move slower, walk slower, smile slower -- confident people only make controlled movements and they open themselves up to people by sitting back and making yourself as comfortable as possible -- don't fold your arms and shield yourself from those in front of you.
How you walk when entering the bar or approaching a person you are interested in can make all the difference as well. Walk tall, with your back straight, chest out, chin high and shoulders back. This shows people that you are confident in your own skin and nothing is more attractive than confidence. Let your body language do the talking though, don't actually talk about yourself and seem like a total douche.
If you've been on your A Game with your body language and find yourself talking with someone of interest, slow down! Whatever you do, do not talk fast. Talking fast portrays anxiety and nervousness -- take it slow and be in more control of what you say and why you say it.
As the saying goes, you never get a second chance at a first impression. And sometimes, that first impression can be finalized in a matter of seconds simply by the style of clothes one may be wearing. No matter the case, it is always important to dress your best. Growing up, I once heard someone say, "Dress every day as though you were about to meet the love of your life." So it is vital to dress hip and fashionably.
Now don't gel back your air everytime you plan to go outside or throw on your nicest button-up shirt, but, more importantly, dress for the occasion. How you should dress for a night out on the town and a night at the baseball park are drastically different, but if you do it appropriately, both outfits can be deemed sexy and exude confidence.
It's important that you have clothes that fit. Not too baggy or too tight, but fit just right and compliment your body shape. Oversized clothes are only cute on girls, trust me. As well as tight clothes, too, actually. Anyways, make sure your clothes fit accordingly and make sure you are comfortable in them. If you're not comfortable in your clothes, then you won't look or feel comfortable, and that'll be a total turnoff.
It is also vital that you ignore trends and name brands. Fashion trends are usually stupid and short-lived, so don't bother getting sucked in by all the craze on social media regarding fashion trends. Why would everyone want to dress like one another anyways?
Your new style isn't going to appear over night. Cultivate your image over time and try out old pieces with new pieces, or even old pieces with even older pieces. And as far as brand names go, there's no better brand to represent than confidence in yourself, so avoid wearing brand names simply to wear brand names--no one is that impressed, anyways.
A very influential factor on whether someone deems you sexually attractive or not can be the way you speak. Whether you speak too slow, too much, too loud or even not enough, the tone and pace you use can make all the difference.
It is very important to be aware of when you decide to speak as well. Speaking too soon can be rude, especially when you cut someone off in the process, and speaking too late can appear awkward or as if you weren't entirely listening to anything the other person was saying. A smart trick is to pause for a second or two once someone has stopped speaking before you begin. Taking a brief moment before replying shows you're relaxed, confident and actually interested in the topic of conversation.
Another tip while speaking to exude confidence and sex appeal is to eliminate filler words. No "um"s or "uh"s, and especially no "like"s. Instead, simply take a moment of silence before continuing with what you had to say. It will appear as though you are putting greater thought into what you're saying than instead of scrambling for anything to say. Filler words merely discredit what you have to say and make you appear nervous.
So speak with confidence and never doubt yourself.
All great and experienced men are familiar with this rule and do their best to live by it day in and day out: No matter what, always remain cool, calm and collected. Essentially, no matter what chaos is going on around you, do not become part of that chaos. Act cool, remain calm and keep your emotions collected. Pretty simple, right? Sadly, not always.
A very helpful tip to staying relaxed around someone your interested in is to expect to be nervous. If you already know ahead of time that your palms are gonna get a little sweaty and your stomach will be full of butterflies, then it'll be easier to deal with them when the time comes, and they won't be a last-minute-surprise for you.
Always appearing relaxed gives off confident vibes because it shows that you are comfortable enough with yourself to always be relaxed in any given situation. It demonstrates that nothing can throw you out of your groove and that right there is automatically sexy.
When meeting a new person, your eyes say at least as much as your mouth.
When feeling comfortable and confident, looking someone in the eyes comes naturally. If you avoid eye contact and are constantly looking around the room, the other person will either think that you're nervous and inexperienced or merely not interested in them. But this can be a bit tricky because too much eye contact is downright creepy. Make sure to look elsewhere during pauses in the conversation. Look at your drink as you sip from it; look at your group of friends while your special someone is sipping from their drink. Eye contact during conversation is very important, but eye contact from afar can say far more.
Let's say you see someone across the bar who you're totally feeling and would love to take home later that night, so you keep them on your radar and keep glancing in their direction. If you guys keep catching each other's sexy and powerful glances, then there is an obvious mutual attraction, and that can get the ball rolling far quicker than conversation.
This tip goes without saying, I believe. If you want to seem sexier, look sexy! Appearances say a lot more than body language and eye contact can, so make sure you're not only dressed well, but cleanly groomed, freshly showered and smell delightful.
Sure, most people think of 6-packs and huge, muscle arms when they hear the tip "take care of your body," but it truly means so much more than that. It refers to showering daily -- if not multiple times a day -- making sure your clothes are clean, styling your hair any way you may like, wearing deodorant and cologne -- all the basic steps of personal hygiene that you should be doing anyways.
Don't have a neck beard or extra long hair on the back of your neck. Don't have dirty or extra long fingernails that make people cringe. Don't have the ability to kill flowers with the smell of your breath. Make sure you stay up-to-date with your personal hygiene, and it can make all the difference by boosting your confidence and sex appeal dramatically.
And while it isn't required, but can guarantee you sex more often than not, hit the gym and get that 6-pack and huge, muscle arms.
There is a famous saying that goes, "Jack of all trades, master of none." But what most people don't know is that there is an end to that famous saying, which goes, "Jack of all trades, master of none...but better than a master of one." What the lesser-known ending of this quote is saying, is that it is better to have a wide range of skillsets that makes you adequate all across the board, than only being able to perform, and excel, in a single category.
So be a Jack of All Trades -- do your best to dance when it's appropriate, sing along to that classic rock song that everyone stops mid-conversation to yell aloud the chorus, and don't shy away from a game of pool. Be the guy who does it all, even if not always well. You will automatically be perceived as a fun and confident kid who is nothing but a good time.
Don't be afraid to make decisions. Trust me; women find it sexy when a man takes charge and makes the decisions. Whether it's about where to eat, when you'll see each other next or who's house you're going back to -- take charge and make the decision.
If you're out and about, tell her that she is going to dance with you when the next song comes on. She'll be excited and nervous that you made her feel like she can't say no, and she'll love that you got her outside her comfort zone.
As I'm sure you've realized by now, confidence in yourself is a must if you want to increase your sex appeal.
If you really think about it, all these tips listed above are actually tips on how to boost your self-confidence and appear more confident to others, because confidence is what people find sexy. There is no doubt about that.
Be cool, calm and collected. Become a Jack of All Trades. Take care of your body and personal image. And don't be afraid to "lay your dick on the table" and make the decisions.
Confidence is sexy; confidence is key. Have confidence in yourself and watch people become inherently more attracted to you. If you have to, fake it till you make it. Either way, people only see what you portray, not what you're thinking. So, if anything, be ready to be nervous and be ready to keep it on the inside.