Ah, so you've that special someone who could be your "happily ever after."
Or maybe your "happily every after" has turned into a "we married too young" kind of story.
No matter the case, you new lovers or old romantics, you've found your way to this article in order to better your relationship and that right there is a step in the right direction. For those of you are in a long distance relationship and seeking advice ultimately for that, I suggest you read this article on surviving and thriving a long distance relationship.
This article's purpose is to serve as a guidebook for those of you who's relationships are ready for the next level, or even in need of remembering how they've gotten there. Love can be a very addicting and soothing feeling when discovered with a certain someone, but overtime that feeling can become dull and familiar. In order to keep that from happening -- or to reverse it from already happening -- it requires passion and commitment from two people that truly want to be together.
The difference between wanting to be together, and needing to be together is monumental. Always be sure that you want to be with your partner, not that you need to.
With that being said, this article is for those who are seeking answers for love, not for those who are deciding if you want to split from your partner. These tips demand patience and an open-mind -- a clear idea of the bigger picture at hand.
If you find yourself yearning to see the bigger picture for you and your lover and want to make sure that it comes out as clear as possible, then keep reading for tips on creating a loving relationship.
A healthy and successful relationship can sometimes rely on healthy support for one another. When a couple full-heartedly support one another and are always there for each other, things tend to run much smoother and create far more happiness. Not only should their support extend from career choices to personal problems, but also from bar arguments to gossip between friends.
It's important that act as your partner's biggest fan. Constant support and reassurance from you -- even when things aren't looking so good -- is crucial.
It should be constantly apparent that you want to see your lover succeed more than anything and that even if they don't, you'll still be there for them with the same loving and supportive mentality. When a partner feels as though they have the constant support of their partner, it can do wonder for one's confidence and well-being, simply knowing you're loved and supported unconditionally.
You want to see them succeed more than anything, you want to help them succeed in any way possible, and your love for them will go unaltered if they don't -- those are very important aspects of a loving relationship that your partner should constantly feel from you.
So chase along side the road and scream for your lover as they run in the city's marathon, stay up all night aiding her in her studies for the big test the next day and always, always be a shoulder to cry on and a quick smile when things don't go as planned. Root and cheer for your lover more than obsessive NFL fans do for their teams; only keep supporting them time and time again no matter what, unlike countless NFL fans.
"Opposites attract," they say. While I don't agree, I also don't disagree. Personal experiences have guided me to lovers both very similar to me, and very different from me -- both reasons for bringing us together.
Because of these beautiful experiences, I believe both differences and similarities are things worth appreciating. But due to differences typically being seen as negative aspects and similarities being seen as positives, it is important to acknowledge and truly appreciate differences between you and your lover.
You don't need a relationship with someone who shares all of your views and interests because eventually, that can become mundane and tiresome. Differences between you and your lover leave room for growth and are what keeps a relationship exciting and full of fire.
Soon enough, you two will start to notice how you've slowly morphed into one another with your sayings, cravings, and tendencies, which will create an even stronger bond between the two of you. The differences between you only leave room for you to fill in the gaps with your newfound similarities together -- it leaves room for you to grow together.
One of the most important tips to creating and maintaining a relationship is building a safe environment for the two of you. A feeling that both of you can share any thought, idea or opinion between the two of you without judgment or backlash.
Now I'm not referring to a "Safe Place" where words can't hurt you, and everybody is loved by everybody -- this isn't a liberal college -- I'm referring to a bond between you and your significant other where actions and words spoken will be understood with an open-mind. A bond that entails fighting fairly, no name calling or making threats and especially apologizing when you know you should.
When my girlfriend and I were a new couple, a few months in she said, "I love how you don't judge me when I'm in a bad mood or when I'm super weird or when I act like a little kid." Hearing that only a few months in made me realize how crucial that can be in a relationship overtime and helped me make a mental note to never lose that understanding for my lover.
Whether they voice differing opinions, trash talk coworkers or friends and even lash out at you, or have something deep and meaningful to confide in you -- your partner should feel 100% comfortable in speaking to you about anything without the fear of being belittled, argued with or exposed.
A safe environment with your partner boils down to trust, and trust is the number one component in creating a loving, and lasting, relationship with the one you love.
If you recall from earlier in the article, I mentioned how it is essential that you and your partner fight fairly, not that you don't fight at all. And that is because every now and then, a fight can be healthy for the two of you. It can release vented up emotions and feelings, stress from other aspects of life and internalized pain that needs attention -- all as long as you fight fairly.
Now, of course, I don't mean fighting fairly as in no crotch shots or pulling hair, but as mentioned earlier, I mean no name calling or threats, no personal attacks or past history, and if you're wrong just say so and apologize.
Through my own experiences, fights tend to refresh a couple's love for each other in the sense that it gets out all the bad stuff and the love they share for one another is again shining through. It helps you remember why you appreciate and love them in the first place, and how unimaginable your life would be if they were to leave.
Never go looking for a fight with your lover, but never walk away from one that needs to happen either. Sometimes fights can be petty and not worth arguing over, but just hear your partner out and reason with them from there. Having someone simply blow you off when you're trying to express your frustrated emotions can be infuriating and only fuel the fire.
So remember: don't avoid fighting with your lover, as it is healthy to do, as long as you do it well and do it fairly.
Having a "teammate" is honestly one of the best parts about having a significant other. Whether you consider them your partner in crime, the sugar to your spice or even your old ball and chain, there is something truly special, and even spiritual, about having that constant someone in your life who will lend a helping hand and bring you happiness and comfort.
When people first start dating, the level of commitment and camaraderie between the two is so strong that they'd "walk 500 miles ... to fall down at [their] door." This is because they both want to be happy and be happy together; simply put, seeing one's partner happy is what elicits happiness in themselves.
As couples who have been around the block a few times, the path to the ultimate goal, full of reasons why they love each other, can be hazy and unrecognizable. Sometimes, you and your partner find yourselves in a state of "you vs. them," instead of "you two vs. the world." You may find yourself arguing and thinking that being together feels like a task more than a pleasure.
It is at those times you just remember you are on the same team, playing for the same goal.
Many times you've simply spent too much time together and need a little break in order to step back from the situation and see the whole picture. Simply remembering that you two are in a relationship voluntarily and how lucky you are to have a special someone in your life, no matter how annoying you can both be at times, can really help you appreciate your partner.