5 Funny Pickup Lines That Will Get Her Number

You're standing at the bar with your friends, when you gaze across the room and spot a girl that has you even more thirsty than when you came to the bar for a drink. You can't take your eyes off of her because you can't believe what you're seeing and you fear that if you look away then she'll vanish into thin air, almost like she doesn't even exist.

You've pointed her out to your friends and they begin urging you to go talk to her. Right then, your eyes go wide and your mind goes blank -- what do you say to her?

The flow of the conversation, her feelings toward you and the chances that you'll wake up beside her tomorrow morning all depend on how you present yourself and what you say when you first walk up to her. You don't want to seem too crude by saying something sexual right off the bat, but you definitely want her to know your intentions of going home with her. You don't want to call her beautiful and tell her how nice she looks, and present yourself as a sweet, innocent kid; but, of course, you want her to know that you do find her beautiful and that's what caught your attention.

There is a limitless amount of one-liners you can use to introduce yourself and introduce the idea of you two sleeping together. The absolute best style of pickup lines is a funny one; one that makes her crack a smile and feel a fun vibe with you. They can be sexual, sweet, clever, even a little innapropriate if you're feeling risky and wouldn't mind a potential slap to the face, just as long as they are funny!

Funny pickup lines set a great mood between the two of you, lets her know you aren't a total creeper and gains you brownie points for being creative -- girls are total suckers for a funny guy. If you need some help coming up with a few funny pickup lines for your next night out, read on to discover some of the best, funny lines around that are gaurenteed to get you laid.

  1. "Hey can I stay at your place tonight? No hobo."

    I am a pretty big fan of this pickup line myself because when I first heard it, I couldn't help but smile and laugh to myself. While it is a little straight forward, the "no hobo" ending to the pickup line makes it tasteful and lightens the mood. Clearly it is a play on the popular "no homo" phrase, which makes it clever and guaranteed to win you a smile from your potential date.

    With such a great opener like this one, it just comes down to whether you can hold your own for the rest of the conversation and keep things moving in your favor so you can score her number.

  2. "Are you a sea lion? Cause I'd love to see you lyin' on my bed sometime."

    This pickup line is easily one of my favorites and that's because it works. While 9 out of 10 times she will deny that she is a sea lion, it's a clever pickup line that she wont be able to ignore or keep herself from smiling. Referencing animals, specifically a sea lion, it makes everything seem less cynical and will cause it to be accepted in a positive light.

    Your goal here isn't to get her to agree that she is a sea lion or to agree to come over tonight -- that's the longterm goal here -- but it is designed to merely get things started and get the conversation headed in the right direction with the right vibe.

    I, myself, have tested this pickup line multiple times and it has proven successful time and time again. Just remember that it isn't a one-liner that'll have her headed over to your place, but it is more of an ice-breaker -- something to set the mood of the conversation and allow you to work your magic.

  3. "What is a nice/pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?"

    Heyoooo! Use this line, I promise. I mean, read it again -- it's f@#*ing great!

    This pickup line is great because it does 3 things -- you acknowledge her appearance and compliment her, you let her know that she's been on your mind and that you've noticed her standing there with her friends, and you've confessed you have a dirty mind and would like to do dirty things to her, but without saying it crudely.

    She'll either respond by calling you a creep and telling you to get her off your mind, or she'll dig it and respond with open legs. While most girls may not admit it, they like being dirty and treated so; you starting out on that foot saves them some trouble and gaurantees them an experience they may have only daydreamed about before.

  4. "Why don't you come to my house and we can work on our math skills? We can add my bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and then multiply."

    Okay, now there is absolutely no way in hell that this doesn't get her laughing and earn you massive brownie points. This pickup line is clever, sexual and straightforward, all without being over the top or too vulgar.

    The only drawback I can think of would be the last part of the joke, talking about multiplying. Instead of saying "... then multiply," you could say "...and try not to multiply," just to let her know that that isn't something you want either. You just want to do some basic addition and subtraction before working through some looooong division.

  5. "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?"

    Now this line is great because obviously you are going to use it on a girl you haven't met before. While she may just turn around and ignore you because the whole "fuck me if I'm wrong" part when you both clearly know you haven't met before, most girls will merely play along and acknowledge that you haven't met. That is when you introduce yourself and ask her about herself.

    This line isn't supposed to get her home with you, it is merely a conversation starter that enhances the possibility of that happening. If anything, it will be memorable and she'll like that, getting her to offer up her number or ask for yours.

    Who you choose to use these pickup lines on, how you decide to deliver them and how you proceed with the conversation after all comes down to you and how you like to do things. These lines just set you off on the right foot and better your chances of getting her number or getting her in bed with you, just do you and you'll have nothing to worry about.